With the holidays coming up, I am having a really rough time. For some reason, the holidays are really hard for me. We live near both sides of the family, not to mention ALL of my family lives within 45 minutes of us. Cris and I were raised very differently when it came to holiday traditions and are having a hard time blending our beliefs. Cris doesn't want our children to believe in Santa. He doesn't want our children to be lied to, besides Santa = Satan. It use to bug me, but I have learned to live with it. He has also never given me a Christmas present in four years, and four Christmas's. It was very hard for me, he believes Christmas is a time for Christ, not for gifts.
While I still believe we need to give gifts, my love language is TOTALLY gift giving, I have come to understand why he feels the way he does. I had an encounter with a family member of mine recently. The conversation went like this . . .
FM1 "What are you doing for Christmas?"
FM2 "I don't know, but I went Christmas shopping today!" said very excitedly because this was the first time in Years!
FM1 "Well, you couldn't have gotten too much, you only had $200 to spend"
FM2 "Actually, we did very well thank you. It's not like it is all about the gifts." Said started to get annoyed.
FM1 dropping/changing the subject "Well what are you getting for Grandma"
FM2 thinking 'she said that because she wants to know what I am doing for everyone else besides immediate family' "I don't know, we don't have money to get everyone something. I will probably make something for everyone."
END OF CONVERSATION (So I had thought)
Why can this person (FM1) take something and turn it into a competition, something horrible, instead of realizing the excitement in the voice of the other person(FM2).
The day went on and I got a call from my sister . . . the remainder of the conversation:
"I got a call from FM1 today, she asked what I wanted for Christmas, I told her and she said, oh that is nice, wanna hear this?"
FM1 then goes on to tell her that when we do sibling gifts we HAVE to spend AT LEAST 20 dollars because FM2 from above is just going to make everyone dumb paper gifts that she doesn't even do (meaning, once upon a time, a coupon book was given for tasks with FM 2, they weren't ALL completed, but some were). I can't believe she is so cheap, she can't even spend money on Christmas.
This really hurt. Because it was ALL about me. It made me realize, why Cris doesn't like the gift giving part of Christmas. It has turned into a competition between family, friends, and neighbors alike. Who got the biggest, best, most expensive gift. This is not what it has to be like. There is no focus on Christ or anything. Spend thousands of dollars, for what, to forget what you got by February. As the years have gone on, I can only remember a few, not even a handful of gifts that were given to me for Christmas. I know I can't remember Christ in it at all. So, I have come to a conclusion 1. Thank goodness my family never reads this. AND 2. I will be putting more Christ in this Christmas than EVER before.
Here is my plan, I wanna hear what you do or could do to better implement Christ into Christmas:
We will open P.J.'s on December 23 night
We will open "Christmas Presents" on Dec 24 morning and have family Christmas that day.
On Dec 25 we will have a morning centered around Christ. We will read scriptures, watch Christ centered movies, read the story of Christs birth, etc. In the afternoon, we will go to other family's homes and do the gift exchange, but not until AFTER we have a good focus on the Spirit that should be in our homes.
This is completely different than I thought my traditions would ever be. But for me, my family traditions are in need for a deep change. I will be the first, but I hope I am not the last, in creating lasting memories of a Christ Centered Christmas.