The past few months have been hard in the blogging world. I couldn't post what was really going on in my world, in my life, in my mind, and in my heart because no one could really know Cris was looking for a new job. We have had numerous job interviews over the last 9 months and yet nothing worked out. There was much fasting, prayer, and blessings and still nothing. We decided to take a leap of faith and put our house up on the market in the beginning of August with hopes of it selling while Cris looked for another job so I wouldn't be stuck here when it happened.
During all of this, I was getting frustrated with the Lord. We were doing all we could (scripture study, prayer, FHE, fasting, temple attendance (although we could have done better on this one), church attendance, magnifying our callings, etc.) and yet the Lord didn't see fit to bless me with what I thought we needed most. There were times I felt he wasn't hearing my prayers and I became a little resentful of him and his timing. Don't get me wrong, I know the Lord loves me and I know he has a plan for me, but sometimes it is a little frustrating when it doesn't go the way we want it to. Last weekend was General Conference and a lot of the talks I was able to listen to were about prayer, the Lord's will, and not feeling forgotten. I felt the Prophets were talking to me. I finally had a peace come into my heart that everything would be ok, even if we stayed in Nibley for a while and Cris didn't find a new job. It felt good to find that peace. I started planning my next few months of living here by getting photo sessions lined up, thinking about new sessions of my workout group, and many other things . . . fast forward to the next day (Monday)!
On Monday (10/5) Cris got a call from a company in Provo he interviewed for over a month ago. We thought he didn't get the job. It had been over a month, they needed someone immediately, and they didn't respond to our follow up emails. We figured, eh, oh well, who wants to live in Provo anyway (HAHAHA). He's always gotten emails about jobs saying they've chosen someone else never a phone call to tell us that so we kind of figured there would be an offer on the table and there was, one that nearly doubled our current income. Of course there was no doubt in my mind that we would take the job. There were little promptings of the Spirit the rest of that day telling me that Cris would accept the position, but he wasn't so sure.
On Tuesday (10/6) Cris went to work, not knowing for sure what he was going to do. He had been asking for a raise for a while and it looked like they were going to give it to him (nowhere near the amount of this offer but a substantial raise), he was also looking into a training program that supposedly would place you in a job after 9 months (if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is). All of these things weighed on him heavily. He went to a meeting about the training program and found out it wasn't what we thought it was, and when he got to work he had an email from his boss. It pretty much said you have 3 options . . .1) accept this salary and our terms (which was no where near what you would want to raise a family of 5 and still no benefits), 2) you can terminate your employment without any further notice, or 3) work with us for the next 2 months while we find your replacement and then you will be terminated. Cris emailed me a small line that said "interesting timing don't you think". I don't think the timing was interesting at all. I think the Lord's timing finally worked out, was finally where it needed to be for everything to fall into place.
Needless to say, we took option 2. Cris had planned on finishing the week out, but made Tuesday his last day. I was able to have him to myself all week and we got a lot done on cleaning our house and getting it ready to sell. Cris starts his job today. He will be staying in Provo somewhere (right now in a hotel, who knows where after this week) during the week and come home Friday through Sunday. There was a lot of crying involved last night before he left. Funny to say but in almost 7 years of marriage, I have never been away from him for more than a couple days and it was me always leaving him for something, he never leaves me.
It's funny. I was laying in bed thinking and praying at the same time. I thought to myself, I begged and pleaded for Heavenly Father to give us a job. Help us know where to go, etc. and he finally does and all I do is ask for more. Do you think he gets tired of us not being happy with what we get. We got the job now I want our house to sell (so much so that we dropped it by $10,000 so if you know anyone looking for a house, spread the word) ASAP! I don't think He gets tired, but I think I would. I guess that's why He's God and I'm Callie! I have a new found testimony of the Lord's timing in all things and His Hand in our lives. I know that I am scared for this new road, scared to move so far from family (even though it's pretty much the same distance from where we are now, it seems FAR), SCARED to be a single mom until our house sells, scared for a lot of things in my future, but I do not FEAR it, I am nervous more than scared, and excited to be going down a new path. I know that Heavenly Father is still listening to my pleadings and always will be. Even if my house doesn't sell tomorrow, it will when Cris and I have learned what we need to learn by being apart and then we will be together again!
OH YEAH . . .it's 4:30 AM, my first night alone Carsyn woke up at 12:30, 1:30, 2:30, and 4:00 and Cayten and Rysa woke up around 3:00 . . . needless to say I think they can feel the change in the air and I didn't get much sleep! Here's to a good first day alone!