Not What I thought . . .

Today as we started out our new "schedule" things went well through MATH and play time.  It is now 10:50 and my kids are playing.  We only did about 10 minutes of Language Arts, maybe 15 before I got flustered and frustrated.  Cayten is reading simple I AM SAM books.  He knows probably 10 words from sight and some short words he can sound out.  I wanted to teach him phonograms as I have heard wonderous things about how it will help your child learn better to spell, read, write, etc.  I just don't know how to teach it.  The letter A has FIVE sounds or something like that and I wanted to go through 3 or 4 cards.  I sound like a seal just making sounds and Cayten just laughed.  While he was having a good time, I was getting frustrated.  Does he get it?  Is he learning?  I know it is day one but am I going to be flustered like this all the time when things don't work?

After we were done with Language Arts of 15 minutes I wrote a few things down and then started researching how to teach phonograms.  This is a splurge of what I wrote:

Overwhelmed, don't know how, 

What to do if they don't cooperate?

 I get frustrated EASY when they wont do what I say

How do I add Rysa into the mix when 

she doesn't understand what I am teaching Cayten?

I know I have a lot to learn, and today is only one day, the first day, and I am not even through.  At 11:00 we are going to do reading.  I am going to read probably 5 or 6 books TO them.  I will ask Cayten to sound out small short words or ask him what certain words are if I know that he KNOWS them.  I need to institute some sort of snack time because not only is Rysa hungry, but I am hungry before lunch and her and I are both focused on if we can eat yet.

Today after reading and lunch, we will have art time.  I like art time and both kids got playdough for Christmas so we will make creations, maybe some letters and numbers, who knows.  I think my idea for structure might fly out the window, but I have to have some sort of structure that is just who I am.  I am not "enjoying" the teaching and fun time with my children, so far I am dreading it, worried if they are "getting it" or not. I hate the feeling of being flustered and not knowing what to do.  Next week my kids will be gone and I have a feeling I will be doing a LOT of research on how to teach, what to teach, why, and many more questions that are running through my head.

I came upon this article and I agree with it to a point, but can't there be an in between because I feel I am the in between, I want structure and I want free learning.

http://www.hepg.org/hel/article/479#home
http://www.redshift.com/~bonajo/early.htm

Here we go . . .

Well, Cris and I have reached an impasse and I want to make an well informed decision, one that is best for Cayten, for me, for our family, and most importantly not a selfish decision!  Here is the dilemma:

Cris wants me to home school Cayten for Kindergarten.  Only for Kindergarten, but I have NO Desire to do so.  I have the stereo-types of home schooled kids in my head, unsociable, awkward, nerdy, etc.  I am afraid of getting gruff from family and friends that don't agree. I am lazy and just plain selfish because, HELLO, how nice will it be to have 2 1/2 hours with just Rysa and new baby time. 

I will be reading, researching, observing, and evaluating all my options.  Most of all, I will be doing a lot of prayer and some sort of fasting whether it be making Cris fast, me not eating any sweets for a certain amount of time, etc.  Today as I have been stressing over how to prove to Cris that this isn't for us, I came up with the idea that I could try it out on my own before kindergarten comes.  As I was talking to Cayten about doing school at home, I had NO IDEA how terrified he was of actually going to school, having home work, not having friends, people making fun of him, and he just turned 5!

One of my problems with home schooling that I know is there isn't much structure, a lot of "learn as they go", "don't pressure and push", "worksheets and things like that don't work", and more.  I am a well structured, very planned person.  I work so much better on a schedule, knowing exactly what will be happening, when, where, why, and how.  I am also terrified my house would be lost to disaster because I will be focused on teaching and not clean my house but that is just silly because really, I don't clean my house as it is HA!

I lost my husband to his Wii game he got for Christmas and it was a REALLY long day for all of us )as in LOTS of messes, fighting, broken toys, stressed mother, etc. and so the chillins went to bed at SEVEN!  (that doesn't mean Cayten isn't awake at 10:45 (this very moment) and is outside shoveling snow with dad,)  While I had nearly 3 hours of peace, watching TV shows, and pondering, I couldn't stop thinking.

I came up with a schedule that I hope will help me teach Cayten and Rysa better but also be a better mom.  One that doesn't get lost on Facebook, internet, cleaning, phone, and many other distractions that take up my time, and FOCUS on my children and what they need.  As I sat on the computer totally ignoring my children today, I realized I wouldn't have had as many fights, messes, and broken toys if I wasn't so distracted with mundane things in my life, and so here goes, my schedule.  We are trying this out tomorrow but are headed out of town Friday and the kids will be at Grandma's all next week while Cris and I celebrate our SIXTH anniversary and find out WHAT WE ARE HAVING and so this will be put in place the following week!  HERE GOES:

Monday-Friday
8:00 AM Eat breakfast, brush teeth, make beds, clean up and get dressed for the DAY (no pj's all day for kids OR mom)

9:00 AM School- Math (games and various activities and worksheets to teach math)

9:30 AM PLAY/CLEAN

10:00 AM School- Language Arts- Phonograms

10:30 AM Play/Clean

11:00 AM School- Reading/Writing

11:30 AM Lunch/Play Time

12:30 PM School ( not sure about this one yet, not sure if there is enough I want to work on with Cayten right now)

1:00 PM Play/Clean

1:30 Quiet Time

WEDNESDAYS ARE FREE DAYS

The reason I have everything in half hour increments is because I couldn't imagine trying to force Cayten to sit down and learn for 2 hours and I don't think it will take me that long to teach him most concepts.  I also have play/clean time.  Playing is for the kids and cleaning is for me so I have a half hour to clean up, get organized, whether it be to get ready for the next part of school OR just to clean a certain part of my house.  All of this will give me time with my kids, time to clean, and keep me off the DARN computer.  I will be blogging about it daily. If I have links to what I will be doing for certain subjects, I will be posting them. Wednesdays will be free days because I usually have  A LOT  going on those days.

Tomorrow will go like this:
Math: Indoor Hopscotch,  Magic Bag
LA: Phonograms And basic Alphabet
Reading/Handwriting: Read stories to the kids, point out simple words, Practice writing the letters for Cayten's name -- Handwriting Printables--

And so, HERE WE GO!