Saturday, November 29, 2008

Holiday fun and more:

Here are some pics from this weekend. We sure had a lot of fun. Cris's parents came up on Friday and played with the kiddos! It was a lot of fun. We braved the storm (of people) and went shopping on Friday as well. Everything we wanted had already been taken so we just go a few things. We went later in the evening as well and it wasn't too bad. We got Cris and I some jeans which we both REALLY needed. I also got my new present but I can't say what it is til Christmas!

Uh Oh, I've been caught!

Papa, Cayten, and Rysa

Rysa's early Christmas present "you found me!"

Cayten and papa playing horsey's!

Cayten and Grandma playing horsey's

Monday, November 24, 2008


Here is a video of Rysa walking. Thanks to my friend Chelsy who told me you can actually get pictures from your video camera . . . I had NO IDEA! I am pretty excited about this . . . get ready for lots of vids!


Rysa is WALKING! She is taking about 6 steps at a time before she falls down. She then stands back up and begins again. If she really wants to get somewhere, she will just crawl. It is so fun to see the light in her eyes as she realizes she can do it!
She loves to push anything she can get her hands on around our kitchen floor. I wanna find a push toy but the few I have found are outrageously priced. Here is a video!

I wish I could get a video of her just walking on her own but I sold my old camera because we bought a Canon Digital Rebel XS! I am so excited. I think it is my Christmas, Anniversary, Mother's day, and b-day present! If I can I will get a video soon and upload them.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Much Lighter note . . .

I know that my last few posts have been kind of blahzE, (not that that is a word, but it is in my mind!) I decided I would spice things up a bit and post happy thoughts!

I am so grateful for my children and my hubby. I get so excited when I watch Cayten and Rysa playing together. I can just see how much they love each other already. Cayten is SO smart. He does puzzles everyday and usually does them much faster than me. In fact he has been doing puzzles for the last 45 minutes or so. He is so lovable. He is always concerned about others and wondering if they are happy or sad. Today in nursery at institute, he was hit by another kid, I asked him if he hit the other kid and he said "No, SILLY mommy, we don't hit!" My child has learned something from me!

Rysa is getting bigger every day! She really wants to walk SO SO bad. She pushes her chair along our kitchen floor. It is pretty hilarious to watch. If I can catch it on video, I will post it! She says mama, dada, claps, and waves. Although she still isn't sleeping through the night, and she is a momma's girl BIG TIME, I love every minute I have with her. It is SO MUCH FUN to have girls!

Cris is working and trying to decide when to take his actuary exam. I wish they weren't so pricey, and the fact that if you don't pass, you have to pay again to take it! UGH! ! ! He plays basketball every week and takes Cayten with him. I love it for 2 reasons. 1. Cris gets daddy son time with Cayten, and 2. I get only mommy time because during this time Rysa is in bed! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! When they get home I always ask Cayten if he made any baskets and he always tells me "I can't shoot, it's too big" in a much disappointed voice :( It just melts your heart!

I am here, at home, nearly everyday. It has been wonderful being home with the kiddos! I love it so much and wouldn't give it up for the world. I hope that we can continue with this way of life. There is always more that I want, like my digital SLR, but I am so content with our life right now! I had some thoughts about simplicity in life but I think I will save them for later . . . my dh is calling!

Oh yeah, look at this pic I took of Cayten. I have many more but I haven't had the time to play with them yet!

Break from the internet

My life is crazy right now. I am overwhelmed, tired, and very irratable. I noticed recently that I am barking at the people I love way more than I should. I get so upset when I don't get to get on the computer and play with my blog, pictures, facebook, forums, e-mail, etc. I realized that I am getting to hooked on the internet/tv and my children/family are suffering from it!

Daughters of God, General Conference Apr 2008, Elder M. Russell Ballard
"And don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the time-wasting, mind-numbing things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet. Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it"

I have totally done this. Not only with the internet but with soap operas as well. When I heard this talk, I knew it was directed towards me. This day I remember only hearing this one talk. As I am typing this, Cayten has spilled food all over, Rysa has a snotty nose, my cereal is still out on the counter and the milk, the couch cushions are torn off my couch, and a million other things are left un done.

I have decided to take a break from the internet world. I feel as if I am addicted. I will get on in the evenings as Cris is almost ALWAYS watching sports and I can do stuff on here when my kids are asleep but if my kids are awake, you will not find me on here. I hope to accomplish this. I need to get back on track and not so focused on me.

I know it is important to have "me" time but I have been so focused on "me" and figuring out what "me" wants to do in life that my children are suffering. All in all, my greatest goal in life is to be a great mom to my kids and for my kids to actually think that while they are growing up, not after. I really need to work on this!

What was I thinking?

Cayten has a horrible yucky cold/allergies. Last night he fell asleep at 6:00 and try as I might, he would NOT wake up. So, we all went to bed later that night and he was still asleep. I knew this was NOT a good thing but what could I do? Now I am sitting here on the computer at 3:00 AM, not because of Rysa or anything but mine and dh stupidity. I am venting because as I lay there in bed feeding Rysa at 2:30 (why she woke up . . . I do not know, two teeth coming in) and Cayten says "I'm hungry". Why wouldn't he be hungry, he hasn't had anything since lunch. I ask dh to get him a sandwich and he blew up at me and Cayten. He said "you chose to sleep through, you go with out" umm HELLO NOT! I am so mad because he constantly tells me to just wake him up if I need help. I don't remember one time he has woken up with Rysa. So I tried to do just that, I was tied up with Rysa so I couldn't really help, and he blows up at ME? AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DH=Dear husband
***Sidenote: at 3:00AM we cannot be held accountable for our actions so I hope all will be well in AM if I can just get some sleep!***

Sunday, November 16, 2008


I am thinking of making my blog private. I have now made it impossible for anonymous people to leave comments, but I am contemplating privacy because of a comment made on my Christmas post. Although I am nearly 100% sure I know exactly who left the comment, I am a little miffed about the whole thing.
Here is the comment:
"While Christ should be the nucleus of Christmas, family should be the center. I applaud you for wanting to put Christ into your traditions. It sounds like you are striving to be excellent Jehovah Witnesses. I noticed you said you were glad that your family didn't read your blog. I can't help think what kind of Christian you are for complaining about them. What would they say if they did see this post. Isn't the whole part of being Christian trying to strive to be like him. I don't think Christ would rule out Santa Claus after all it is the wise men that brought Jesus the gifts they are the reason we celebrate with Santa. Who ever told you Santa = Satan wasn't thinking too clearly. The prophet of the LDS church is a good friend of ours even he had Santa come to his house for his children. Christmas is a magical time for children. While we shouldn't forget Christ during Christmas and he should be the focus of Christmas children need that magic in their lives. What will you do when your children are in school? Will your children be the children telling the rest of the class they are wrong there is no such thing as Santa, and will the teachers have to find other lessons when they have the class write letters to Santa or have Santa come during school. I agree Christ is the most important thing during the holiday season, but I prefer to put Christ in my life on a regular basis. Not just focus on Christ one morning out of the year so I can make my point. Christmas is the time of giving. Not just remembering Christ. No matter how materialistic it becomes Christ would want us to give."
What do you think? If you recieved a comment like this, would you want to go private? What do you think about the comment in itself? Does this make sense? I am a little disturbed by the whole thing and I would comment more but I am a little too upset.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Photoshop Play

Hey everyone:

My biggest dream in life is to become a photographer. I have always loved it so much. Money has always been an issue, and still is. Right now I am trying to gear up to save for a good DSLR. I have been learning photoshop recently so I thought I'd show you what I am doing!




Thursday, November 13, 2008

*** Sidenote ***

Even though Cris doesn't buy Christmas presents, and would prefer me to not buy them at all . . . we still CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, and Cris grew up celebrating Christmas with presents and stuff . . . just doesn't think it is necessary anymore. Sorry to Cris's mom, I didn't want people thinking they taught him his ways. They are GREAT!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

What Christmas means. . .

With the holidays coming up, I am having a really rough time. For some reason, the holidays are really hard for me. We live near both sides of the family, not to mention ALL of my family lives within 45 minutes of us. Cris and I were raised very differently when it came to holiday traditions and are having a hard time blending our beliefs. Cris doesn't want our children to believe in Santa. He doesn't want our children to be lied to, besides Santa = Satan. It use to bug me, but I have learned to live with it. He has also never given me a Christmas present in four years, and four Christmas's. It was very hard for me, he believes Christmas is a time for Christ, not for gifts.
While I still believe we need to give gifts, my love language is TOTALLY gift giving, I have come to understand why he feels the way he does. I had an encounter with a family member of mine recently. The conversation went like this . . .

FM1 "What are you doing for Christmas?"
FM2 "I don't know, but I went Christmas shopping today!" said very excitedly because this was the first time in Years!
FM1 "Well, you couldn't have gotten too much, you only had $200 to spend"
FM2 "Actually, we did very well thank you. It's not like it is all about the gifts." Said started to get annoyed.
FM1 dropping/changing the subject "Well what are you getting for Grandma"
FM2 thinking 'she said that because she wants to know what I am doing for everyone else besides immediate family' "I don't know, we don't have money to get everyone something. I will probably make something for everyone."
END OF CONVERSATION (So I had thought)

Why can this person (FM1) take something and turn it into a competition, something horrible, instead of realizing the excitement in the voice of the other person(FM2).

The day went on and I got a call from my sister . . . the remainder of the conversation:

"I got a call from FM1 today, she asked what I wanted for Christmas, I told her and she said, oh that is nice, wanna hear this?"
FM1 then goes on to tell her that when we do sibling gifts we HAVE to spend AT LEAST 20 dollars because FM2 from above is just going to make everyone dumb paper gifts that she doesn't even do (meaning, once upon a time, a coupon book was given for tasks with FM 2, they weren't ALL completed, but some were). I can't believe she is so cheap, she can't even spend money on Christmas.

This really hurt. Because it was ALL about me. It made me realize, why Cris doesn't like the gift giving part of Christmas. It has turned into a competition between family, friends, and neighbors alike. Who got the biggest, best, most expensive gift. This is not what it has to be like. There is no focus on Christ or anything. Spend thousands of dollars, for what, to forget what you got by February. As the years have gone on, I can only remember a few, not even a handful of gifts that were given to me for Christmas. I know I can't remember Christ in it at all. So, I have come to a conclusion 1. Thank goodness my family never reads this. AND 2. I will be putting more Christ in this Christmas than EVER before.

Here is my plan, I wanna hear what you do or could do to better implement Christ into Christmas:
We will open P.J.'s on December 23 night
We will open "Christmas Presents" on Dec 24 morning and have family Christmas that day.
On Dec 25 we will have a morning centered around Christ. We will read scriptures, watch Christ centered movies, read the story of Christs birth, etc. In the afternoon, we will go to other family's homes and do the gift exchange, but not until AFTER we have a good focus on the Spirit that should be in our homes.

This is completely different than I thought my traditions would ever be. But for me, my family traditions are in need for a deep change. I will be the first, but I hope I am not the last, in creating lasting memories of a Christ Centered Christmas.

Saturday, November 8, 2008


Please answer my polls on the side . . . it is of VITAL IMPORTANCE!

Friday, November 7, 2008


When I was in high school, I loved to write poetry. As I learned more about poetry, some of them no longer seem to be poetry anymore. I was cleaning up and found my book of poems. I hope you don't mind but I wanted to post them for my memories. As I type these, it brings back the memories of high school when they were written. Many or nearly all these memories were not good ones. I was very depressed then. I am SO grateful for the people in my life now. I am truly happy and have found what I always wanted. I have found myself. Some days I get lost now and then . . . as do we all, but I always know where to turn to be found again.


I am so scared for what lies ahead
Will I make it through
Or will I fall dead

Will I have friends who are there for me
Or will I call Price
To see Brindi

I will miss those friends that have moved away
I wont have friends
To come and play

I want to say Thanks to those who care
I know no matter what
You will always be there

Relief Society is what's ahead of me
I will go and learn
To live and let be

This poem is just a funny rhyme
To help me learn
To pass the time

It's time this poem comes to an end
Thanks to all
My wonderful friends

We're leaving this school, we're finally out
But will we be scared, or will we scream and shout?
Our lives will have their own different paths
We will go our own seperate ways

No one knows what lies ahead
When we leave this school, in just a few more days
No more hanging with all our friends
We'll move out of our homes and take lifes bends.

We'll leave our teachers, who helped us along
We'll all be singing a way different song
Who knows wat time will change when we're all gone to college

Learning, more learning, to help life move on
Yearning and yearning to move out on our own
Turning and turning, our minds are now spinning

I am glad I got through this, although I am scared
To move out and learn, I am way unprepared.

Friends Forever
(This poem was written to a friend of mine. In 9th grade I lost ALL of my friends and I was hurt and depressed. I had a person I had never met come up to me and become one of my best friends.)
When you came up to me
That day I was crying,
You saved my life,
When I felt like dying.
We became real close friends
That day others had betrayed me.
I knew you would always be there
And that you would always care.
Sometimes we had fights and trials
But you never left my side.
I felt so ashamed,
That day, to you, I had lied
I wanted to take it back,
But the devil had gained control.
That lie grew larger and larger,
Until I couldn't stop at all.
I thought that lie would tear us apart,
But instead it brought us closer together.
I knew you were the best friend,
And we would be friends forever.

No Title
I feel so selfish when I ask why
Why am I alone and afraid
Why do I cry, why do they do what they do?
Why do I feel so strong
And yet weak at the same time?
God has given me so much
And yet all I do is complain.

God has given me two parents who love me,
Four siblings who are friends and care.
I take these things for granted
Knowing they are always there.

What if one day the world turned upside down
The sky comes rushing down and in seconds. . .
. . . They are gone. Just pieces of a memory.
No one to say "I love you" at night
No one to say "It's okay,"
No one to be there to tuck you in tight,
No one to say "We care"

In a small matter of minutes, thousands of families destroyed
Thousands of children alone.
A little boy cries "Mommy where are you?"
"Mommy, Mommy I am scared"
No one can come down the hall
And hug him and tell him you're there.

No more daddy to play catch with
No mommy to braid her hair
I think of everything that I have
And all that I have lost.
Nothing compares to the families and victims of
September 11, 2001

What is sadness?
Sadness is being alone
When everyone else is together

Sadness is feeling
There could never be one
To care about the things you do.

Sadness is knowing
You can't fit in where you want
Or knowing there's no place to turn.

Sadness is knowing
The friends that you have
May not be true friends at all.

Sadness is leaving
A place that you love
And going to one where you are lost.

Sadness is knowing
You have lost all that
Means everything to you.

Sadness is knowing
The friends that you have
Can change in an instant and stab you in the back.

Although sadness is all of theses things
Sadness is something we can learn from.

A Real Friend
You see the weight but don't seem to are
You still befriend me, I can't believe you dare.
I never knew what it would be like
To have a friend that could see
See the indside not the out
See the personality, not the weight.

You see through me and yet you still care.
I know that you will always be there.
I can talk to you and let you hear
All that I have to say
My complaints, my happiness, the tears of joy
Worries of doubt, worries of failure, my sadness

You make me feel tall
Tall enough to get anything. You still listen.
What would it be like to have a friend like you?
A friend that stands out above them all?
No one else knows but me

Now that I have read this last poem, I realized ho much this is Cris. I am so grateful for all he does for me. I wrote this poem three years before I even met him, SO CRAZY!

That is all for now. I have a few more, but my hands are TIRED!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


The other day Cayten was watching brother bear as I was cleaning my house. I was in my bedroom cleaning up and came out to find this :

Also some recent pics of Clarysa :

Clarysa is getting so BIG! She is wanting to walk already at 8 months. She will randomly stand up in the middle of the room olding on to nothing. She usually will lift her arms in the air as if to say: "Look how big I am". She is also a BIG copy cat. If she hears a noise she can copy, she will. She squeals if you squeal, grunts if you grunt, and so on. It is pretty funny. Yesterday a little girl was crying and so Rysa tried to pretend cry too. It was too funny.

We got our flu shots last week. Cayten didn't want his but he was fine as soon as they gave him a sucker. Then he realized that Rysa was going to have the same fate as he did and started crying for her. He is so sweet with her. He told the nurse to give the shot through her pants so it wouldn't hurt! :)

Sunday, November 2, 2008


Just a question: How do you find blogs to lurke around and learn new things? I have heard people talk of a few blogs but do you know of any way to actually search for them?

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