Monday, April 25, 2011

Spiritual side of Easter 2011

My post for Easter 2011 got a little too lengthy so I decided to break it into two.  It was a rough emotional Sunday for me.  I am nearing the end of my pregnancy which always means emotional breakdowns for me (3-4 weeks left)! I can't sleep, everything I eat causes heart burn, my maternity clothes are starting to not fit, I have gained more weight this pregnancy than ever before (and I have to lose it all again, UGH), and I just want to be done with this!  I also was having a hard day with Rysa and knowing how to deal and parent her and had frustrations with Cris that were menial and ridiculous, but it all added on top of each other and made for a trying morning.

After all this, I went to Sacrament hoping and wishing for a way out of the rest of church.  Maybe a sudden onset of nausea, hunger, exhaustion, anything, but Heavenly Father knew what I needed and I had no excuse to leave.

I dropped Rysa off in nursery and she had a melt down.  She hasn't had a meltdown in ages but it was just one of those days.  I stood in the hall and just sat there, wondering how I am going to handle 3 kids.  I am still terrified, I don't know how I am going to do it.  When I went to Sunday School I was fine, Cris put his arm around me, and asked me if I was ok.  I was ok.  I was fine, but the fact that he cared, he could tell I was struggling, I broke down and the tears started coming.  As we sat through the lesson the Spirit calmed my nerves.  I still felt fat, I still felt worthless and like a failure.  I still felt overwhelmed, but I knew it was all from Satan and that the feelings would subside.  I was much calmer and it allowed me to have the ability to listen during the Relief Society lesson, and that is where the Spirit really testified to me that day.

The thing that amazes me the most and has built a stronger testimony in me is how amazing our Heavenly Father is.  He knew and knows exactly what we need, when we need it.  He had a lesson prepared ahead of time, a topic chosen months in advance, prepared days to weeks in advance, that I needed to hear at that very moment!  He KNOWS me, He LOVES me, and He KNOWS what I need.

The lesson was on President Monson's talk from October 2010 "The Divine Gift of Gratitude".  This Easter Sunday I was focusing on everything I wasn't, everything I didn't have, everything I couldn't be, and here was this lesson prepared to turn me around and focus on everything I was, everything I have, and everything that I can be!
 We were asked to write down a few things we were grateful for before the lesson was really given.  A few I jotted down were:

-- Cris knowing when I am not ok and being willing to love and listen to me
-- My Children and the love they give and show me
-- Heavenly Father for loving me for who I am inside and helping me to realize I am not the person Satan wants me to think that I am.

The last one was the one I needed the most.  I may be over weight. I may have gained back nearly all the weight I lost last year, I may not have the most fashionable clothes or awesome hair.  I may not have a million friends in my area and feel like a loser a lot of the time but those things don't define me!  I am grateful for who I am.  I know I can and will lose the weight again.  In 3 weeks I will be able to go buy me some new summer like clothes to feel better.  I will have a beautiful little boy to help me relish in all my joys.  I am a kind person. I have two of the BEST children, even when they are trying, hard, difficult, and everything in between.  When they are those things, moments later they are coming up to me, giving me hugs, telling me how wonderful and beautiful I am.  I still feel fat, I still am overwhelmed, and I am still terrified of what these next 3 weeks will bring, and even the next few months, but I know Heavenly Father loves me and knows what I need, when I need it!

Learning to deal with the Lord's timing and not my own has been a trying experience these last few months.  I am looking forward to between May 17th and May 24th when this little no name guy makes his debut.  I am looking forward to things that can't be mentioned in the public eye (if you wanna know, message me but life will be changing, just some can't know about it), I just wish those things would happen NOW, not a few months or longer down the road.  I want everything to work out when I want it to work out and I am learning very quickly that WHEN I WANT doesn't matter because Heavenly Father knows what and when I need certain things in my life and for that, I am grateful!

Easter 2011 and then some . . .

This past weekend we celebrated Easter.  It was a wonderful weekend!  I sure love holidays that help us to remember our Savior and what he did for us.  I try to think about it often but it is nice to have a special reminder.

We started off the weekend with a visit from Cris's parents.  They came up for a visit and to meet with their financial advisor.  Cayten wanted them to go to the Easter egg hunts with him so they stayed the night and we had a fun time.  We were able to have a Hawaiian BBQ dinner and invited some friends from Maui over.  They moved to Providence recently and we had a good time.  It is really funny when Cris gets around those from Hawaii.  His pigeon talk comes back full force and you would never know he has lived in Utah for more than half his life now!  It was fun to hear stories from Hawaii and get to know the family better.  The wife is due May 9th with her 4th and I am due 2 weeks later!

On Saturday we went to 2 Easter egg hunts.  Our friends (the Jensen's) invited us to the Smithfield egg hunt. It was by far the better of the 2 we went to.  They have a limit of 2 eggs per kid and then gather all the candy you wanted.  It was great.  Inside the eggs were special prizes.  We walked away with like 7 free frosty's just for being there.  Cayten won a $2 dollar bill, a stuffed animal, some floss, and toothpaste, and a whole lot of candy.  Rysa got a free subway cookie, a frisbie, a stuffed animal, floss and toothpaste, and more candy.  The way my kids eat candy, it may be Halloween before it is all gone!

 Caleb and Rysa getting ready for the hunt!  Rysa got pretty nervous at the beginning but took off in the end.

 Rysa putting her candy in the bag, she got pretty excited!

Gathering as much as she can!
All tuckered out!
Cayten looking for some candy and eggs!

One of the most frustrating things about Easter egg hunts, or anything that divides your kids into age groups for that matter, is HOW IN THE WORLD do you get pictures of both kids?  I divided and took some of Rysa at one hunt and then some of Cayten at the other this would have worked but . . . 
Nibley's egg hunt was HORRIBLE and ended in 30 seconds!

They didn't even have 1 egg for each child there, they had the eggs spread SO far that the younger kids couldn't get them before all the older kids had snatched up 10, and it ended in 30 seconds.  It was awful, we wont be doing that one again!

We came home and ate lunch and put Cris's big b-day present together.  He said this present has to count for his Birthday, Father's day, Christmas, Birthday 2012, and Father's day 2012 presents, and I kind of agree, it was pretty pricey but he will enjoy it!  I bought him a portable basketball hoop.  Not any dinky portable basketball hoop either.  It ranges from 7.5 feet to 10 feet, has a 52" back board, it is PRETTY awesome!  It took Cris and his dad a few hours to put it together and then Cris and Cayten played for a couple hours!  I will get pictures once the weather clears up!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Life . . . and then BOOKS!

Life sure catches up to you some days (most days if you are pregnant)!  I technically have 6 weeks left of this pregnancy as of tomorrow but am hoping it is actually only FIVE!  I had both Rysa and Cayten 1 week early and so I am hoping that saga continues because I am pretty tired of being pregnant already.  It was all great until this last week when I started feeling uncomfortable when sleeping, walking, moving, etc.  This little one still does not have a name however I think I have it narrowed down to Carter, Connor, Corbyn, Carson, or Cameron.  I only THINK because every time I talk to Cris about it I say "we ONLY have ?? weeks left" and he says "we STILL have ?? weeks left".  So, this little guy will continue on without a name for now.

The NESTING phase has set in a couple of times and then fades quickly.  Today I am in the process of organizing our Toy Room closet to accomodate the toys that are being stored in the kid's room. I realized that when the baby is down for a nap (which will likely be a lot of the time in the beginning unless he is another Rysa) Cayten wont be able to play with his most favorite toys. I am trying to declutter and de-junk the closet.

And on to the BOOKS . . .

I LOVE to read.  I don't read as often as I use to, but I LOVE to read.  In my single days I bought every book I wanted.  I then got married, started living on a student life budget and realized the days of buying books were over.  I only read books once or TWICE if the book is really good and then it sits on my shelf.  There are books in the mentioned closet above that haven't been looked at in over 3 years since we moved here.  I went through the books and decided on which books I will be giving away to friends or donating and wanted to list them on here for any friends and family that may want them.  Nearly all the books are in excellent condition (remember they have only been read once)!  I will list them by Author and Title.  If anyone wants any of these books, leave a comment here and we can figure out how to get them to you!

Cheri J. Crane: Kates Turn, Following Kate, Sabrina & Kate, The Girls Next Door, and Forever Kate

Susan Evans McCloud: Sunset Across Inda, Sunset Across the Waters, Sunset Across the Rockies, and Out of the Shadows.

Chad Daybell: Chasing Paradise

Jack Weyland: Ashley & Jen, Cheyenne

Stephenie Meyer: Eclipse

Pamela H. Hansen: Running With Angels

Sunshine for the Latter-Day Saint Teenagers Soul

Beverly King: Picture Perfect

Sierra St. James: Masquerade

Dr. Laura Schlessinger: 10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives

Michele Ashman Bell: Timeless Moments, An Unexpected Love

Karen Kingsbury: Maggies Miracle

F. Burton Howard: Eternal Marriage and the Parable of the Spoons

Chris Heimerdinger: Passage to Zarahemla, Eddie Fantastic, Ben Franklin and the Chamber of Time

Joni Hilton: That's What Friends are For

Janet Bergera- Vital Signs

Lisa McKendrick- A Life of My Own

Steve Roos- Deep Cover

Corrie Ten Boom- The Hiding Place

Anita Stansfield- Return to Love

Dan Yates- Lack of Evidence

Julie Wright: To Catch a Falling Star

Annette Lyon: At The Waters Edge

Laurel Mourtisen: Turning Point

Robison E. Wells: On Second Thought

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